I had a heart to heart conversation with my sister recently. We got talking about a bunch of stuff, and before I knew it, I brought up something from almost three years ago that I honestly thought I had gotten over.
Apparently, I hadn’t forgotten that experience; I just managed to suppress it and move on. While narrating this experience to my sister, I felt like a ton of bricks hit me. I never saw this coming. I am sure you have felt a similar way if not the same at some point in your life.
Brianna Wiest is one of my favourite writers on Medium and in one of her articles, she stated; “The thing about life is that our emotional experiences, if we don’t finish them, stay with us.”
Isn’t this the truth? At least, it is my truth. That experience was quite heartbreaking for me, and I tried to numb it at the time, but look at how it has popped it’s head up reminding me of its presence.
Let me be transparent; I am not over that experience, it may take a while, but the most important thing is that I am willing to process it. Refusing to finish that experience is subjecting myself to carrying baggage, which I do not need on my journey.
I say all this to urge you to finish your experiences as they come. Go through the emotions, feel the pain, feel the excitement, enjoy the thrill, process the heartbreak. Whatever emotion it may be, good or bad. Live in the moment, focus on the present, finish your experiences.
Unexpressed emotions will never die. They are buried alive, and will come forth later, in uglier ways.Sigmund Freud
Don’t numb yourself today; you’re still going to go through the pain tomorrow. Just think of how temporal the numbing injection used by the dentists for tooth extraction works. Shortly after the procedure, it wears off, and you are back to square one.
Numbing yourself to your emotions can only last for so long like the numbing injection. You and I are human beings and we are designed to feel. No matter how much you suppress your emotions, you must feel them someday so long as you are alive, so why not just do it now? Why save it for tomorrow?
Although I strongly believe in going through your experiences and feeling the emotions rather than escaping them, I must state that our emotions don’t always reflect the truth no matter how much they masquerade as truth. Balance is key!
Feel free to leave your thoughts in the comments. I would love to have a conversation with you.