Feel your feelings

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I had a heart to heart conversation with my sister recently. We got talking about a bunch of stuff, and before I knew it, I brought up something from almost three years ago that I honestly thought I had gotten over.

Apparently, I hadn’t forgotten that experience; I just managed to suppress it and move on. While narrating this experience to my sister, I felt like a ton of bricks hit me. I never saw this coming. I am sure you have felt a similar way if not the same at some point in your life.

Brianna Wiest is one of my favourite writers on Medium and in one of her articles, she stated; “The thing about life is that our emotional experiences, if we don’t finish them, stay with us.”

Isn’t this the truth? At least, it is my truth. That experience was quite heartbreaking for me, and I tried to numb it at the time, but look at how it has popped it’s head up reminding me of its presence.

Let me be transparent; I am not over that experience, it may take a while, but the most important thing is that I am willing to process it. Refusing to finish that experience is subjecting myself to carrying baggage, which I do not need on my journey.

I say all this to urge you to finish your experiences as they come. Go through the emotions, feel the pain, feel the excitement, enjoy the thrill, process the heartbreak. Whatever emotion it may be, good or bad. Live in the moment, focus on the present, finish your experiences.

Unexpressed emotions will never die. They are buried alive, and will come forth later, in uglier ways.

Sigmund Freud

Don’t numb yourself today; you’re still going to go through the pain tomorrow. Just think of how temporal the numbing injection used by the dentists for tooth extraction works. Shortly after the procedure, it wears off, and you are back to square one.

Numbing yourself to your emotions can only last for so long like the numbing injection. You and I are human beings and we are designed to feel. No matter how much you suppress your emotions, you must feel them someday so long as you are alive, so why not just do it now? Why save it for tomorrow?

Although I strongly believe in going through your experiences and feeling the emotions rather than escaping them, I must state that our emotions don’t always reflect the truth no matter how much they masquerade as truth. Balance is key!

Feel free to leave your thoughts in the comments. I would love to have a conversation with you.

Love, Sharimam.

11 Comments Add yours

  1. Anonymous says:

    Yea…. It’s okay to be broken but do not stay broken.
    Thank you for this❤️

    1. Sharimam says:

      Exactly! We shouldn’t stay there. You’re welcome!!❤❤

  2. Finishing an experience sounds like, exploring an experience to get the lessons and the blessings it has to offer. Probe patiently, seek support, allow the pain to take its course.

    I had very terrible experiences in the past three months, I allowed myself to weep, worry, pray, seek support, retreat, learn, meditate, stay alone and then discover the blessings that the experiences have to offer.
    I am still unlocking more blessings by the day. I have learnt to appreciate the beauty, bliss and blessings that challenges offer those who patiently sail through the storm.

    I am better now. Thank you for sharing this, Sharimam.

    Be blessed and stay safe.
    Adeleke

    1. Sharimam says:

      Hello Adeleke,

      So sorry about the bad experience you went through. We may not understand why we go through certain experiences on this side, but we must choose to deal with them healthily.

      I absolutely love how you tried to manage the situation. I must commend your strength. Not a lot of people know how to do this because many believe expressing emotions is a sign of weakness.

      Like you pointed out, some of these experiences are blessings in disguise; And we must have the right perspective to partake of the blessings.

      It is so good to hear you are much better. May God perfect all He has started in you.

      You stay safe as well.
      I enjoyed reading from you. Remain blessed!

      1. Thank you for your kind words, Sharimam.
        Have a great day ahead.

  3. doriskoki says:

    The accuracy 💯 I totally agree with you. We’ve got to be honest with ourselves, in touch with our feelings, especially the negative ones, if we’re to heal and move on. Thanks for sharing Sharimam 😊

    1. Sharimam says:

      I am glad you share the same thoughts with me on this. I can’t stress the importance!

      You’re welcome Doris. Thank you for reading and leaving a comment. Always nice to read from you!❤🤗

  4. Earlier this week, I was part of a women’s group therapy session. And the therapist shared with us that some of us need to go back and address the feelings that were suppressed from past hurts and traumas. I know that western society for a LONG time has told us to “be strong” or “be tough” and don’t let the world see you crack because it’s a sign of weakness.

    But I realize that we must deal with our cracks so we can get on the path to being whole. Thank you for sharing this and simply reaffirming the space for others like myself to feel and deal with our emotions.

  5. Sharimam says:

    I absolutely agree with your therapist. I have suppressed my feelings for so long and I have gotten to the end of myself. Whenever I hear “be strong” it just worsens the situation. As emotional beings, we were created to feel. It makes no sense to go against nature.

    I have also learnt that identifying and sharing your weakness is a sign of strength. Contrary to what we have been told. Not a lot of people can do that.

    I am glad you got to be in a group that encourages you to feel and deal with your emotions. I wish we had more of such on this side of the world😩😭 Thank you for reading and sharing your thoughts. It’s always refreshing to know someone else agrees with your thoughts.

    Have a fantastic weekend Lindsey!
    God bless you.

  6. Lima says:

    Numbing the feelings is only temporal, it always comes back afterwards. Sometimes I wish there are steps we can skip while growing, sadly we have to go through all!

    Always find closure, then heal! Thank you Sharimam.
    I love you❤️

    1. Sharimam says:

      It is very temporal indeed!
      Unfortunately life doesn’t have shortcuts, which is in our favour if you ask me😂

      Healing is key! Closure is key too, but we must understand that we will.never get it sometimes. So we just have to move on without it. Life can be very hectic atimes🤦‍♀️

      You’re welcome my darling. Sorry for my very late response🙈 I love you too Sis!❤❤❤❤

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